AUGUST 4TH '09

okayy, i guess i know what i have to do now. i honestly think, i should just forget about you. i know this will be really hard, but its just something i gottah do. i love you so much, but i now you just dont have any feelings left for me. i wana be with you so much, but im just realizing that, im only hurting myself. my heart doesnt want that, my heart doesnt want anything right now. my heart doesnt wana hurt anymore. the ebst thing to do is just, forget about him. get over him. let go.

AUGUST 3RD '09

Jordan Julian Apostol

I dont know why, but i love you. I love you so much, all i want is to have you back. I hate the feeling of thinking your probibly on the phone with some girl, or that your already falling for another girl, or just the feeling that your over me. What hurts most is, i miss you so much, and your moving on. It makes me feel so happy when i get to talk to you, but then when we talk, it makes me feel like were still together. I just want you back, I dont want to lose you completly, but i think thats where its headed. I just got off the phone with you earlier, it was about 10:20pm, and you said you were gonnah talk to me after because you was going to go to sleep, the whole time i just been thinking, you probibly just got off the phone because you needed to call whoever it is your talking to now, because i remember, when we were together, you would always call me around 10. I domt know why i even bother, i know your not going to come back to me. All day in school tomorrow, i know im just going to be thinking about you, im going to think if you met anyone new, or if you got any new numbers, and all of that. i dont know, i cant stand thinking of you being with someone else. i wouldnt be able to handle, i just wish, i wish that we were together again. i need you in my life.

MAY 26TH '09

-justBECAUSEsomeoneSAYSsomething,

DOESNTmeanTHEYmeanIT-

i really dont know about you. you may tell me things like you love me and all dat, but you dont show it. actions speak louder then words. sometimes, i just wish that your actions would speak louder than your words. i miss the way that we used to stay up all night on the phone together, and just talk about anything and everything. i miss how it used to be, when i believed that you were different from all the other boys, but now...your becoming just like every other boy. earlier, you texted me "babe sorry for making you wate 4 along time...i no it seems like i dont care anymore but i really do have strong feelings 4 you". yeah it really doesnt seem like you dont care anymore, but no it doesnt seem like you have strong feelings for me, it doesnt even seem like you have any feelings for me, and pretty soon im gonnah start to not have any feelings for you.

MAY 25TH '09

-Ready2GiveUP-

i dunnoh if i wanna do this anymore. everyday you got me wondering, if you even wanna be iwth me or if you dont even care. right now i feel like you really dont care, i try telling you how i feel but you dont even tell me anything back. i honestly am so confused over you. i just wanna be with someone who is gonna actrually be a real boyfriend to me, someone who will actrually wanna see me whenever they have the chance, or someone who is gonnah tell me im beatifull but most of all someone who is gonna honestly love me. its so hard just being with you because you dont show that you even wana be with me, sometimes i just wana call it quits already. i just wanna be done with you but i cant. theres just something that just wont let me do it.

MAY 20TH '09th

i dont even know what to think. youhh beg me to catch the bus all the way from pearls to kapolei, and when i do youhh dont even come and meet me...youh leave me waiting there all by myself at night for an hour and a half. as of right now im debating whether i should just break up with youh or not. youh always do this to me, make like your gonnah see me when really you aern't. but this time hurted the most. i spent a whole hour on the bus just to come and see youh even if it was only gonnah be for a minute and youh dont even come, youh dont even stay on the phone with me. it's like youh dont even care. and now im grounded and i dont have my phone. i had so much planzs for this weekend. and now itzs just....nawten.

MAY 18TH '09

as of right now, myy feelings are telling me that he is the boeh that i want to be with. theres no other person on this planet that i'd rather be with then him, sometimes i feel like all he is, is just a freind, but sometimes i feel that he's wayy more than that. theres times when were on the phone when we dont say a word, but other times when we can just talk about anything and everything relevant and irelevant. some days that i spend with him i feel like were only friends, but some days i spend with him its wayy more than that. each day with him is something new and unexpected, but i guess i kinda like that. well, my focus isn't really on him right now, its on my best friend. i dont want her to end up hurt anymore, she's having an issue right now between two boysz, one that she loves, and one that she likes alot. i just want her to know that im always gonnah be here ofr her when she needs me and whatever decisions she makes i'll support her...

MAY 11TH '09

i really dont know where my feelings are leading me. i really do like you but its just that i dont feel like you feel the same. i mean sometimes i do feel like you do, but mostly its like you dont. i really dont like the way you tell me that your going to come and see me, but your not and you dont even tell me. i dont like the way you always swear at me, and yell at me, and the way you talk to me. i really wanna make this last but its just hard, feeling that you dont care.